Spring is a time for renewal, and all this lovely rain has had a cleansing effect on me at a very deep personal level. Into my third week of no weight bearing on this broke ankle I have alot of time to think, manifest and be open to possibilities. As I hobbled over to the sliding glass doors to close them, it was as if I were truly closing a door, a chapter if you wish, and there was such peace. I am still not sure how this chapter ends and the next one begins, but I find myself open and ready to receive, and redirect if need be.
Being in the mind body business it crossed my mind, why the ankle? I am sure many of my peers wanted to ask me that question but probably thought better of it. Until I got a text that said “Grounded. That is harder to believe than the ice cloud grounding Europe” A few days later she shoots me this”Have you tried to get in touch with the emotions behind the break?” I wanted to say come on! Could it not just be that I broke my ankle?
I knew this was something I really needed to address, it is always so much easier to see it in others and I do always say, “The body does not lie.” So I thought a bit. I replied with I don’t know, but intuitively I knew better. So I continued with “stepping forward, fear of it, not ready? What do you think?’ She responded with “it is usually resisting change but that does not seem like you at all!”
It is always amazing to see yourself thru the eyes of another, but she was right, I am not one to resist change, I am pretty flexible with change. “Maybe I just fell!”
Her response was “not likely”. So I have spend the last several days pondering over the array of possible emotions behind the break. I have had several opportunities present to me, each one very worthy of my time and attention, but I am after all one person. I have had an epiphany. I need to consolidate, I am taking on more and I need to cut some things out. But what?
So eagerly I text back and say “OK woman? I think I know what this break is all about. I am branching off into to many directions and I lost my footing. Now to choose the correct path!’ Do you know what she texted back? “And the left ankle because?” Really? Way to burst my bubble. If you do not have an understanding of the mind/body connection this discussion probably sounds really crazy. I have an understanding and teach it and still I am thinking it is crazy. For a moment.
“Isn’t that also about money?” followed by “are you trying to nurture to many people?” Bingo! I have a tendency to under value my worth and give myself away. This has been where my work has been since I started Yoga 10 years ago. Only I thought I had worked thru it. We both agreed this felt right.
It is not only a grounding first Chakra Issue but the ankle represents second Chakra as well, indicating not only instability but relationships. Instability in my relationships? An uneven give and take? Ok! So once again I say “The body does not lie!” And what is even more wonderfully amazing is my universe is currently shifted to change this. As I have sat here for 31/2 weeks reading and studying and listening and wondering I had a realization that I need to cut back. Now I am just going to sit back and marvel at the way this whole process unfolds and reveals the path I need to take.
I feel peace about this and it feels good! Better then that it feels right! Now for me to step back out of the way, and just be open to receive.
So today as you step on to your mat, get out of your way, allow what ever shows up to show up. Give your self freedom to explore and be open to new ways of being in each asana. Let go of trying to control your practice, let go of any ideals of what is right or wrong. Practice acceptance on your mat, practice honoring on your mat, practice allowing on your mat. Remember the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Give yourself time to have fun, laugh out loud and smile from with in.
See you on the mat!