So what were my withdrawals like? First off they started days after I cut my dosage in half,
- Felt like I had a bad case of the flu or perhaps Dungi fever, although I have never had it only heard about it!
- Muscles aches, pain deep, especially in my low back,
- restless legs,
- severe soar throat and gum tenderness.
- The shakes hit Friday night, with chills, but yet so hot. They also hit me again Saturday night, but Sunday night they did not occur.
- I felt so tired yet struggled to sleep.
- My heart palpitations were sporadic yet the
- fatigue and headache was continual.
- Nothing I took seemed to relieve the pain, I just had to endure.
- I felt very unpresent and just did not feel like me.
- At times I found my mouth and tongue did not cooperate.
- I could not concentrate well enough to watch TV, draw or read and I experienced light sensitivity
- The ringing and fullness in my ears caused a little vertigo, but not to bad and an occasional swoosh sensation
I moved from the bed to the couch to the bed and back, and that was about it for a few days. I finally had the energy to shower Monday which was long over do as I have been sweating more then normal. Today I was feeling better and started on a small project. There has been no anxiety or suicidal thoughts but my mindset was fuzzy at best and I did not feel like Kimberly. The worst were the shakes, chills and pain.
Today is day 8 and there is a little bit of low back pain, and I am taking good naps and slept well last night. My appetite has returned, as I was forcing myself to take in any nutrition. Rootbeer and banana popsicles do not provide for a healthy diet, but boy they felt good on my soar throat.
I had a dear friend come in from out of town to be with me. She cooked for me but more important she stayed present in the home, and was there when I needed her or felt like chatting or watching TV. Several friends popped in to drop off food or check on me, but grateful they understood I was not in a mind set to visit and understood the disarray of my house and myself.
I did not feel well enough to blog, read or watch TV although I did play 2048 which is a stupid numbers game that I could put down and return to with out much thought. I also have a new love of soft jazz.
I have done a lot of self reflection, more of which is to come.
Keep in mind that this is my experience and may or may not be true for you. I have also been on the meds for 16 years with many failed attempts to get off. I am tapering off by cutting my dose as opposed to skipping days, which is a different approach for me and hoping for a better outcome, even though it has been a bit challenging.
The brain zaps have eluded me so far! Thank goodness. Fingers crossed on this one. Thank you for the notes, the texts, and facebook messages. I have learned I am not alone in this journey as many of you are, have or will soon be walking down this path. I will continue to share what I learn on this journey. My choice may be a little unconventional, but I am hopeful and looking forward to sharing it with you in the coming days.