Headed into round 2 of withdrawals off Lexapro going from 5mg to zero, which is a bit drastic and I do not recommend it with out help. Tomorrow will be day 5 and has proven to be the start of two ruff days. The center I am headed to today has encouraged me to come a day early and will administer a micro dose of Iboga to help with the withdrawals. The most important gift they have given me is the complete understanding of the hell this has on my physical body and mental status. Having always done this in secret, alone and unsure of what the hell was happening to me, I can tell you this is reassuring to say the least.
One night on the town in Jaco artisan came to our table. He made items out of palm leaves. He proceeded to surprise me with a beautiful heart and a crown along with a hummingbird by request.
These items touched me as I am on a journey to uncover my heart felt desires and my inner goddess. These will travel with me to Nosara as a reminder of my destination.
Before traveling to Costa Rica I had a necklace made for me with three charms.
- A key
- An acorn
- A wishbone
As a reminder of my desires to unlock my inner strength and feminine desires. The acorn symbolizes great strength as we all know from a tiny acorn grows the mighty oak and the wishbone represents my feminine desire for pleasure. (if you are a bit confused on this one then you must come to my workshop on the pelvic floor.) The female clitoris is shaped like a wishbone and is the only organ in the body who’s only function is that of pleasure (joy comes from pleasure).
Choosing joy and having joy are essential to well being, as is strength.
I have had many people tell me how brave I am. I do not see this as brave but essential. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I must choose a different road in order to have the desired outcome.
So brave or desperation, either way I hope I am paving the way for you, or some one you may know who is struggling with SSRI’s, depression, anxiety or other addictions to stop the insanity and see that there are other options out there.
Tomorrow begins the first phase of iboga treatment with a micro dose. My ekg and blood work have all been sent in and I am ready willing and able!